Category: Paternal Thoughts

It’s difficult to imagine what it will be like for Toby to grow up in a time when the internet is not like some marvellous, twinkly unicorn, but is rather more like a ubiquitous (but still occasionally remarkable) crow. I didn’t even have an e-mail address till I was 18; I was 22 before I…

Our Little Monkey has lately taken to brightening our days with face-splitting grins that have nothing to do with feeling bilious or passing wind, but that indicate his pleasure at seeing our gurning faces. Naturally the smiles are gorgeous, but Mrs. Monkeyshines and I have mostly been too delighted and distracted to get a decent…

Things can change very quickly in a baby’s world. Sometimes the Little Monkey will be kicking away on his playmat, and suddenly he’s assailed with a wrenching, terrible pain: “No-one has ever hurt like this before” he thinks, “All the light has gone out of the world, my whole being feels empty, I am the…

It’s sometimes said that dads don’t get interested in their offspring until they get old enough to be thrown up in the air, or kick a ball across a room. But I’m not sure if that’s really true; babies really are fascinating creatures (I know I’m biased in the case of the Little Monkey, but…

It’s somewhat strange to reflect that our Little Monkey owes his existence, in part at least, to Sarah Beeny, the (seemingly) ever-pregnant host of a range of home improvement shows. For Mrs. Monkeyshines and I met via the dating website that she founded, mysinglefriend.com (MSF). MSF’s schtick is that a friend writes the bit of…

Our Little Monkey has some lovely clothes, many of them bought by generous friends and family. It’s rather good fun picking out a little outfit for him, particularly if we’re going out and want to show off how handsome he is. Cute animals are a recurring theme, and some of the slogans are very sweet.…

It’s strange to think that Toby won’t have any recollection of his nursery, since it will be where I picture him when I think back on his early days. But, as with much baby paraphernalia, I think getting it nice is really for the parents’ benefit. Although we hoped that the animal silhouettes would capture…

We’ve only had him a month, but it seems entirely normal that Mrs. Monkeyshines and I share our home and lives with a Little Monkey. He was a wriggly fellow in utero, and that remains the case now. He thrashes around with such abandon that I’m sure he could hold his own in a moshpit.…

(*Prize is esoteric and consists wholly of the satisfaction of being correct.)